Welcome sickandtired.
I get the impression that, whilst not against the principle of being a jehovahs witness, you are beginning to doubt that it IS the truth, as we were all led to beleive, and therefore, you are wondering if you are not just wasting your life?
You say that your husband is your best friend. Perhaps you would prefer spending your time differently together?
Understanding the real reason why you feel like you do, might well help you decide on what course to take next.
I wish you well on your search.
jlp